Сегодня моя подруга сообщила, что она беременна. Я, конечно поздравила и т.д... А в душе чувствую огромную дыру. Злость, зависть и ненависть...мне стыдно, но они есть.

Спроси психолога

Вопрос

«Сегодня моя подруга сообщила, что она беременна. Я, конечно поздравила и т.д… А в душе чувствую огромную дыру. Злость, зависть и ненависть…мне стыдно, но они есть. Я замужем уже 7 лет, много лет назад у меня была неудачная беременность… Я очень ждала этого ребенка, но… не случилось. А сейчас я и мой муж только и успеваем решать то одну, то другую проблему, и третья уже маячит на горизонте. И у нас на руках более бабушка моя… Вот когда она выздоровеет, снова начнется: «А когда ж вы детей-то заведете? Пора уже!» От этого » Пора уже» жить не хочется! У подруги уже есть ребенок, муж хорошо зарабатывает, все хорошо… А у меня… Мне плохо. Не жду от вас рецептов и волшебной таблетки, но все же… Хочется выйти из этой черной полосы.» Л. 35 лет.

Ответ

«Здравствуйте!
Вы пишете о смятении, когда обнаруживаете чувства зависти и злости к подруге. Но вы также чувствуете, какую огромную нужду имеете.
Это как огрмная дыра, которая не заполняется. Вероятно, вы думаете, что даже ребенок не может заполнить вашей душевной пустоты. Может быть вы завидуете не беременности подруги, а ее заботливому окружению, мужу, который может поместить что-то хорошее в подругу и сделать ее жизнь хорошей. В вашем окружении, вы этого не получаете и злитесь. Там от вас что-то требуется: ухаживать за бабушкой, рожать ей ребенка, решать проблемы мужа. А ваши потребности не реализуются, о вас не заботятся. С одной стороны так хочется, чтобы кто-то (таблетка) помог вам заполнить пустоту внутри, унять боль, отчаяние и сделать жизнь такой, которая бы приносила удовольствие. Но также близкий человек может принести вам проблемы, тяжесть, осуждение, что не делает вашу жизнь легче.
Всего доброго! «

, психоаналитический психотерапевт.
Преподаватель кафедры Психологического консультирования и общей психотерапии.
Куратор студенческих групп/ Ведущая программ Повышения квалификации и тренинговых программ ИППиП

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