Я - моральный урод. Я не общаюсь с людьми, которые по идее должны быть для меня самыми близкими. Это моя старшая сестра и ее семья. И вот так получилось, что я перестала терпеть ее ненависть ко мне и высокомерие и прекратила общение. И мой уход от общения усилил их плохое отношение ко мне.

Спроси психолога

Вопрос

Я — моральный урод. Я не общаюсь с людьми, которые по идее должны быть для меня самыми близкими. Это моя старшая сестра и ее семья. И вот так получилось, что я перестала терпеть ее ненависть ко мне и высокомерие и прекратила общение, которое только свысока, поучительно или с насмешкой. Почему терпела раньше — не могу сказать. И мой уход от общения усилил их плохое отношение ко мне.
Сегодня пришлось поговорить, я сказала, что не могу общаться в такой манере, мне ответили, что с близкими слов не выбирают. Вот так. Я оказалась виновата, что своим отказом от общения спровоцировала мигрень у сестры и мне было сказано, что обо мне заботятся, а не контролируют. Вот почему всю жизнь я чувствую опасность рядом с этим человеком? Может, дело в том, что один близкий слов не выбирает, а второй должен всегда говорить то, что от него ждут? И почему психологическое насилие все пытаются это оправдать? Я и сама иногда оправдываю: только близкие всегда рядом и имеют право честно сказать самое больное и обидное » С. 27 лет.

Ответ

Мне кажется, вам надо разбираться с несколькими темами: с вашими отношениями и чувствами к сестре и с вашей коммуникацией: «надо мной издеваются, а я подстраиваюсь».
Что касается сестры, то похоже, что какое-то неприятие и противостояние есть между вами давно. Почему? Когда это началось? Есть ли какие-то сферы ваших отношений с сестрой, где вы ладите? Удается ли вам говорить друг с другом о ваших отношениях — в том числе недовольствах? Ответы на эти вопросы возможно, помогут вам определиться, над чем работать дальше.
При обдумывании второй темы проанализируйте, как происходит общение с другими людьми, не только с сестрой. Удается ли вам чувствовать свои границы и отстаивать их? Представляете ли вы, как это делать, не разрушая отношений? или только молчите, а потом вас переполняет раздражение и злость на того, кто их нарушает? Похоже, что это представляет трудность для вас. Но этому можно научиться, и тогда отношения будут более удовлетворяющими, не только с сестрой, но возможно и с другими.

Психоаналитический психотерапевт Преподаватель дисциплины «Основы взаимодействия психотерапевта и клиента» в программе высшего образования «Психология» ИППиП. Руководитель отделения психологического консультирования и психотерапии. Куратор студенческих групп / Ведущая программ повышения квалификации и тренинговых программ ИППиП

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